Prevention

The best way to prevent a runaway is to spend time with each of your children and to listen to them: regularly, nonjudgementally, and with your full attention.

Take their concerns seriously. Don't dismiss their worries or fears.

Pay attention when they ask for help and make your responsiveness a top priority.

Confront trouble signs directly, firmly, and calmly. Discuss your concern and the consequences of continued unacceptable behavior without lecturing.

Talk with your child's teachers and the parents of their friends. They may have helpful observations and suggestions. Talk with professionals.

Warning Signs

It's easy to confuse signs of trouble with the usual adolescent turmoil--it's hard to tell the difference. But when real problems are in the making, the signs outlined here usually come in clusters. Observance of the signs should cause concern, rather than undue alarm.

Sleep Changes - fatigue, early morning wakenings, insomnia, increased sleeping

Personality Changes - abrupt mood swings, excessive blow-ups triggered by small things, apathy, boredom, irritability, preoccupation with a single thought.

Withdrawal from the Family - growing isolation, increased violation of house rules, avoidance of family gatherings even at meals

School Problems - falling grades, truancy, cutting classes, fights, and disciplinary problems.

Withdrawal from Friends - fallouts with friends, hostility toward former friends, new (older) friends, reluctance to introduce parents to new friends.

Over Reaction to Family - prolonged reaction to loss or stress from death, divorce, illness, loss of job, a move to another city.

Trust Your Feelings - Parents often have "gut" feelings when something is wrong. Trust those feelings and watch for these signs.